An older woman in a towel is helped into a shower with many assistive devices like bars and handles and a bench by a younger woman wearing a dress.

Tips for Bathing and Showering a Loved One with Alzheimer's

As your loved one’s Alzheimer’s progresses, you may find that certain tasks become more challenging for them to accomplish. Bathing or showering is one area in which you may come up against resistance, anger, or hostility. There are ways to help you and your loved one accomplish the necessity of bathing and reduce the stress it can create.1,2

Why is bathing a struggle?

When your loved one always prided themselves on cleanliness, a shift in resistance to bathing can feel confusing. You may find yourself getting frustrated and asking, “Why can they not just do it?” There can be a few things that cause agitation toward the task of bathing.

Your loved one may feel embarrassed that they can no longer do this task themselves, they may feel a loss of control at being forced to do something when they are not ready, or they may not understand what is happening or being asked of them. They could also be feeling cold or frightened at being exposed. All these emotions can play into a hostile attitude toward getting clean.1,2

Getting to yes

The process of bathing will go most smoothly if you can get your loved one to agree to the process willingly rather than by force. Honor their preferences and try to maintain what they have always done. Did your mom used to bathe before bed? Do not ask her to bathe in the morning. Keep to the schedule she liked and was comfortable with throughout her life. Did your dad always take showers? Do not require him to now take a bath. Use a shower chair and keep the process familiar. Make the process fun and feel homey. Are there certain scented soaps or lotions your loved one likes? Do they like a particular kind of washcloth or sponge? Does certain music help them feel calmer and relaxed? Make these things part of the process so that bathing is something they will enjoy rather than resist.1,2

Offer choices and clear communication

Whenever possible, offer your loved one choices so they feel they have control over the process.1,2

  • "Today is bath day! Are you ready to do that now, or would you like to do it at ____ time?"
  • "Which towels would you like to use, the blue or the white?"
  • "Would you like to put on this set of clothes or this set of clothes (or pajamas) afterward?"
  • "Would you like me or ____ to help you?"

Your loved one may prefer someone of the same sex to help bathe them. For example, a father may prefer his son or son-in-law assist him instead of his daughter.

Talk them through each step before engaging

In order to help your loved one feel as comfortable as possible, communicate each step clearly before engaging in the task.1-2

 

  • "It is time for your bath! First, we are going to walk to the bathroom."
  • "Now it is time to take off your clothes and put on your bathrobe. Can I help you unbutton your shirt? Now I am going to take off your socks and shoes."
  • "I am running the water. I think this feels like a good temperature. Do you agree?" (Allow them to feel the water and change it to be warmer or cooler, depending on their response.)
  • "Now I would like to help you into the tub. I am going to place a towel/washcloth over your lap once you are sitting."
  • "Are you cold? Would you like a towel over your shoulders?"
  • "I am putting soap on the washcloth. I am going to start by washing your back. I am done with your back now. Would you like to wash your arms, or would you like me to do that?" (Keep naming the area and asking “me or you” as you go.)
  • "Now it is time to wash your hair. I am going to rub in some shampoo. Could you lean your head back so we can rinse it out?"
  • "All done! Can I help you stand up and get out?"
  • "Can I help dry you off with the blue towel or do you want to start?"
  • "Time to put on your bathrobe and go back to the bedroom to put on your clothes."
  • "Great job! You look so nice and fresh!"

 

Keep your loved one safe

Safety when bathing is very important to avoid a fall or accident. Never leave your loved one alone in the bath. Here are some things that may help keep your loved one safe and ease the process for you both:1,2

  • Install bars and grips to help them get in and out of the tub.
  • Invest in a shower chair.
  • Have rubber grips on the bottom of the shower or tub.
  • Use a handheld shower attachment to ease the process of washing and rinsing.

Other grooming tips

Help maintain normalcy by encouraging and helping your loved one to do things that were always important to them. If your mother always wore makeup, help her apply some or encourage her to put it on. If your dad was always clean-shaven, invest in an electric razor and help or encourage him to shave. Dressing can be challenging for your loved one. After having them choose what they want to wear, lay out clothes in the order they should be put on to help minimize confusion.1,2

Your loved one may need help remembering how to brush their teeth. Show them how, explaining step by step what to do. Brush your own teeth at the same time so they can watch. If a manual toothbrush is hard for them to use, consider investing in an electric toothbrush. Encourage them to do as much as they can for themselves!1,2

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our privacy policy. We never sell or share your email address.


Join the conversation

or create an account to comment.