Choose Your Words Wisely

Your resident word nerd is back again! As a journalist, editor, and writer, I spend my days with words. I put pen to paper or fingers to keys every day to express a sentiment, feeling, or story, or help others to give birth to theirs.

And today I wanted to talk to you about the words you choose to describe Alzheimer's and your Alzheimer's journey.

"He died"

In recent years, I was asked to do a radio interview to raise awareness for an Alzheimer's fundraising event, something that I was happy to do.

One of the things that you normally provide to the person who's interviewing you or speaking with you is a brief background on the person. In other words, a truncated version of your Alzheimer's story so that they can use it as a jumping-off point for your discussion.

I was stopped short when I read about me and my grandfather and our history with this disease in the blunt, black-and-white, plain English "he died in 2014." Factually accurate, yes? But the visceral reaction that I experienced seeing this stopped me short.

It tugged at my broken heart. I knew that there was a better way to convey this while being sensitive to people, like me, who are grieving for their loved ones.

Be careful how we're speaking

I was confronted again with the emotional baggage of our language when doing some moderating on the Facebook page.

One of our community members who is living with Alzheimer's popped into the comment section that consisted largely of caregivers who were sharing the harsh realities of day-to-day life. This person gently reminded the group that their comments would likely be seen by loved ones living with this reality personally and who have a strong desire not to be a burden on their support systems.

Could we please be careful about how we're speaking?

Considering the patient

As a person who works toward a cure for Alzheimer's daily I consider the many patients who are living with Alzheimer's every day, I empathize with how they must be feeling dealing with their diagnosis daily.

I consider the earth-shattering look on my Poppop's face in the early stages of his disease. Specifically, the look of his sad, watery blue eyes every time he'd be telling us a story only to not find the words or the next thought.

But, it did take this kind woman in the comments for me to consider that while discussing caregiving obstacles — and emotional turmoil that comes along with it — could be helping one part of this complicated equation, it may also be negatively affecting another part.

Choose wisely

You see - words matter. I know this. I know that what we say and how we say it can build power, strength, warriors or it can tear down, cause harm, victimize. I choose the former.

My grandfather’s passing in 2014 has fueled my drive for a cure; he lost his battle with Alzheimer’s in 2014, these are the ways that I describe my Poppop’s death.

We fight Alzheimer's.

We battle Alzheimer's.

We walk toward a world without Alzheimer's.

Sometimes, our fighters succumb to, lose their battle with, or end their Alzheimer's journey. But I promise you this, those of us who are still here continue to fight.