The Cost of Forgetting with Alzheimer's

Our plates are full. We are stressed. We are busy. Where did we put our keys? Where are my glasses? What was his name? I am so aggravated.

Today, I took my mom to get a haircut for the first time since we moved, because it’s been four months since the last time, and she was looking a little wilted. I parked us in a free handicapped spot in front of the shop. She doesn’t like to walk far. I made sure her mask was on, her hearing aids didn’t fall out as she slipped the loops over her ears, and hurried us in to be on time for her appointment. I forgot to put her handicapped hang tag on the rearview mirror. When we got back to the car, there was a ticket under the windshield wiper. UGHHH! The ticket said $230! Double UGHHH!!

Forgetting to take your medicine

Sometimes, you can’t win for losing. No matter how hard you try, there will be gaps. I always pray that they won’t be costly. If I forget to buy toilet paper or turn off the lights when I leave a room, we may pay a little.

The other morning, my mom got mixed up with her pills. She swore she took them, and she wrote down in her little book that she had taken her pills. I had been gone the day before, so I didn’t check that she took them. Or, maybe I did. I didn’t think I would need to remember. Maybe she forgot to take yesterday’s pills and took them today instead. I figured it would be best for Mom to skip the day’s pills, thinking it’s better to miss than double up, but I wonder about the cost of missing important medication.

Forgetting what we did yesterday

Alzheimer’s disease affects memory, among other things. Mom is forgetting what her favorite foods are or whether she has had a Philly cheesesteak sandwich. When we visited Philadelphia, she ate one every day, and one day she ate two. She remembers that she went, though, and saw the Liberty Bell.

Mom has trouble word-finding, so she has trouble coming up with Liberty Bell, but we know what she’s talking about. One of these days, she won’t remember her trip or that she went with us. She may not even remember us. I hope she will always remember we love her very much.

Forgetting what foods were edible

In one of the last conversations I had with my dad, I knew that he knew me; however, he had forgotten what foods were edible and what wasn't. At the time, we thought it was his poor vision. Looking back, I think he just forgot what was good to eat and not eat and how to tell the difference. He tried to eat baby wipes and small, red Christmas ornaments. Some people with Alzheimer’s disease forget how to eat at all.

Having to pay for forgetting

I’m hoping I can contest the ticket and not pay that much. We want to buy a house. I need the money! And I am partial to groceries! The cost of forgetting can be high physically, emotionally, and financially. Sometimes we can mitigate those costs with strategies, habits, reminders, help, and forgiveness.

I am mad at myself for not putting up the tag, but I need to go easy on myself. It’s a painful lesson that I will not repeat. I’m thankful it didn’t lead to a disaster, but I’m still mad.