Losing Our Loved One to Alzheimer's Disease

Alzheimer’s disease is ...horrible. It’s horrible for the person. The loss is beyond our comprehension. I think of my dad and how much was lost for him. Then I selfishly think of what we all lost when we lost Dad to it.

Who did we lose to Alzheimer's?

We lost a man that pushed his kids, my brothers and I, to be more than himself. He always said the goal of being a parent is to have your kids do better than you did. In the world we grew up in, that was do-able. For my dad, that meant school. If we went to school, then he felt we would do better than he and Mom did. Now, Dad and Mom did pretty darn good. They both had good full-time jobs. They owned a home; they always had one or two cars as far back as I can remember. My one brother and I went to university; my other brother went to college. All three of us picked a field of study and have done very well. My parents helped my brothers and me financially with school so we could go to post-secondary without loans; we wanted for nothing. We all met my dad’s expectation of ‘doing better’. We all lost a man who cared enough to push us. We lost him to Alzheimer’s.

My kids lost their grandfather. I had so many visions of the kids having time with their grandfather. Unfortunately, we lived out of town. That limited how much time the kids got to see him but he and Mom came to visit fairly often. They’d come to our small community to watch our son’s hockey games. They’d come for our daughter’s dance recitals. Alzheimer's was not diagnosed for a number of years later, but I believe he was showing signs when the kids were little that we didn’t recognize. By the time the kids were at university in the city where Dad and Mom lived, Dad wasn’t even halfway to the official diagnosis. I believe it had been missed by his family doctor. After a while, Dad and Mom could no longer travel due to Alzheimer’s. My kids lost their grandfather long before they should have. Alzheimer’s took him away from them.

Dad wasn't really "there" anymore

Dad was able to physically be at our daughter’s university graduation ceremony but he wasn’t really there. He wandered off which sent us all looking for him. We couldn’t leave him at home because there was no one to leave him home with. Mom wanted to be at our daughter’s graduation, and truth be known, she needed a break from Dad’s care.

We all lost the pleasure of being out together to enjoy celebrations for big achievements. Dad was in a nursing home by the time our son graduated. Our son’s grandfather wasn’t able to see his big achievements.

The greatest loss of course was for my mom. She lost the love of her life. She lost her best friend. She lost her soul mate. She lost Dad.

Alzheimer’s broke my dad. It destroyed his life. It devastated my mom. Alzheimer’s robbed us of all the good times we could have had with Dad. It robbed my children of their grandfather. It robbed me of my father.

I wish there was no such thing as Alzheimer’s. I hate it for what it took from me and my loved ones. It took my Dad.