Grief and Gratefulness

It is a peculiar thing to experience grief and gratefulness both, at the same time. My daughter and my son-in-law were married in the beautiful mountains of Colorado earlier this month. I have dreamed about this moment since the day she was born. It was a beautiful wedding; everything a mother dreams about for her daughter. I was so very thankful to experience this milestone, and it will be forever engraved on my heart.

However, my dreams never included an Alzheimer's diagnosis and the changes that would be required of me and my family.

The comfort of routine

I have become a creature of habit over the last several years. Consistency allows me to continue to manage my life somewhat. Every day is the same. I know where my clothes are. I know how to shower, get myself dressed, make a grocery list, clean the house, and check on my friends and family. I can still take care of my dogs and cook Liz, my wife, dinner. I really didn't expect the upheaval being away from my home would cause.

On the average day, I still feel in control of my activities of daily living, and maintain control over myself and my choices.

Facing unexpected challenges

This highly anticipated trip showed me a new side of myself I had not yet met. Our first night in Colorado, we experienced some unexpected issues with our Air B&B. The cabin that looked so enchanting on line became a puzzle I could not quite figure out.

I spent most of the first night with knots in my stomach and my face swollen from crying. I couldn't figure out how to get my clothes and toiletries to the bathroom and successfully shower. Things were not going the way I wanted them to on this special trip. I felt like a child, and I felt humiliated. I ended up telling Liz to go away and fell asleep in my clothes for the night. The entire trip proved to be a string of lost items and a constant state of disorientation.

Liz is a strong woman and never missed a beat. She took it all in stride and remained my rock, taking care of all my needs, supporting me, and looking forward for any additional "road blocks" that might be coming. We made it to all of the special events that culminated into the joining of two precious people.

I treasure the experience and will be forever grateful to have witnessed it. It may have looked differently than I envisioned it, but it was beautiful and perfect in the end.

Managing Alzheimer's during family events

Caregivers, it is so important to set the tone for your loved ones in these types of situations that may cause fear or distress. Liz was able to anticipate problems that might arise and plan accordingly. I thank God for her. My family, which includes in-laws, out-laws, family of origin, and family of choice have shown me, in a big way, they will create a safe place for me.

As I watched my daughter marry the man of her dreams, I had nothing but gratefulness in my heart for the beautiful wedding we witnessed and the knowledge that my ever growing family will take care of me.