Never Say Never

My mom has been living with us since 2012 after my dad passed. I didn't want her to live alone. She wasn't crazy about that idea either. Two weeks after the funeral, our households combined. But, it wasn't now two cooks in the kitchen. I was the chief cook and bottle washer. She enjoys her complete retirement.

Finding ourselves in unexpected places

My husband never imagined living with his in-laws. Neither did I, although we lived with his parents for a few months right after we got married. We weren't eager to repeat that. We were our own family with our own kids now. But mom and dad needed us. My mom needs us all now more than ever.

Then, there were those times that my dad or mom needed their blood sugar checked. I never wanted to be a nurse, even though my mom was, and my dad was a doctor. I didn't want to give shots or do other "gross" things! But what am I going to do? Go out into the street to find someone to come in and do it? Like my great-grandma did when she went out into the street to find someone to wring the chicken's neck so she could make dinner.

I am not that kind of pioneer woman! Gross!

Drawing the lines

There are lines you never think you will cross.

My dad was lying in his hospital bed after brain surgery. He needed to use the bathroom, and there was only a urinal and the nurses were busy. This was not in the How to be a daughter brochure! I tried not to think about it.

Then the lines disappear

My mom had to collect a urine sample recently. We needed to know if she had a UTI, so the stakes were higher than routine. She wanted me in the bathroom to help.

I told her, "I love you, but I draw the line at holding the cup!" It was a hysterical exercise. We both had a big laugh. The bathroom was a disaster, and let's just say I washed my hands and sang happy birthday a BUNCH of times!

Never saying never through Alzheimer's

I never thought I would live in New York, anywhere, let alone in Buffalo or Long Island, which is basically the outskirts of New York City. I never thought I would have a black belt in anything. I never thought I would live in Hawai'i or Siberia. I never thought I would be in a movie.

The "nevers" can make your life very interesting and become great stories, some more poignant than others.

It's best not to judge your future capacity with your ability of the present. That's fear. My husband told me once that God doesn't give "potential grace." He gives "actual" or "real-time" grace. That's grace at the moment when we need it - not ahead of time.

Your capability changes - you may change

It's hard to imagine what you are capable of before you are there, like a mom lifting a car off of her child. Love is a powerful motivator to get over the ickies and the awkwardness! Sometimes, you just do it for family. You can rise to the occasion. It's life, and it's only temporary.

What have you done that you never thought you could do? Tell us about your experience in the comments below, or share your story with the community.