Losing Myself at 27: How I Reclaimed My Identity as an Alzheimer’s Caregiver

I refuse to let you believe that being a caregiver has to mean the loss of your identity, style, or joy, so this is me sharing how I discovered how to hold onto those pieces of myself.

I started my caregiving journey at 27, a time when most of us are still figuring out who we are and how we want to show up in the world. I was still defining that when my mom was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s, and the loss of my sense of self was very much evident and real to me right away.

Searching for answers amidst the grief

Here’s something I think most caregivers can relate to: when we don’t understand something, we will find a way to learn about it. That’s just who we are; it’s in our DNA. So, in the middle of that confusion and grief over who I was, I started looking for answers, and that search led me to the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung.

Jung believed that every person moves through life navigating an archetype, which is a pattern of energies or personalities that shapes who we are and who we are becoming. He recognized 12 of them: the Hero, the Lover, the Everyman, the Explorer, the Caregiver (no surprise that’s an archetype), the Jester, the Innocent, the Rebel, the Artist, the Sage, the Ruler, and the Magician. His theory is known as the 12 Archetypes, and it became my unexpected guide back to reclaiming my identity as an Alzheimer's caregiver.

Finding the framework for self-discovery

Learning about Jungian theory gave me a framework to see myself beyond my role as a care provider. One of the places that this framework showed up was in how I was dressing. I majored in and graduated from fashion design school, so style has always been my language of expression, but somewhere on this journey, I stopped dressing for expression and started dressing more for function. I am not ashamed to admit my style was very much giving Adam Sandler—respectfully.

For someone who has always leaned into trends and color, this was a significant change from my norm. It wasn’t just about clothes; it was about the version of myself that was disappearing and the person I was actively trying to rescue. I realized that reconstructing who I was outside of dementia care required intentional effort.

Embracing the inner rebel

Jung’s framework gave me permission to rediscover myself in a different way. I didn’t have to lose myself just because I was taking care of my mom. I could still be a devoted caregiver AND a woman with a bold sense of expression.

What that looked like was finding myself in the Rebel—an archetype known to go against the traditional status quo, challenge the norm, and curate their own experiences. This resonated with me on a personal level because prioritizing my own needs while navigating this disease is its own kind of rebellion. It became the ultimate form of preserving my individuality.

Using style to protect my persona

Style became one of the ways I honored both my role and my identity. I found functional pieces that were mindful of my style preferences, from the colors to the details of the silhouettes. I even used jewelry intentionally, like changing out the band on my Apple Watch for ones in different colors or acetate designs that serve a look. It was still practical, but it was ME!

How have you reclaimed your identity?

If you are on your own path toward reclaiming your identity as an Alzheimer's caregiver, I want to hear about it. Drop a comment below and tell me which archetype feels most like you right now, and share this with a caregiver in your life who might need the reminder that their identity is still very much worth protecting.