Faith, Caregiving, and Hope: Navigating Alzheimer's with Grace and Love

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7 New King James Version. That is a good verse for me. If I walked by sight, I would freak out much more than I do. Things don't look good as my mom's Alzheimer's disease progresses.

My house is a little messier these days as I get behind on some of the chores, and my hair looks a little grayer as I look in the mirror.

Navigating difficult times with faith

Many of us on this site are people of faith. It is what motivates us and mitigates the awful. It centers us and keeps us pressing on as our world crumbles around our dearly loved one. Our faith is where our peace comes from, or whom it comes from, depending on our particular faith. When our world is making no sense and we can not find the words, much like our loved one, we can still find strength to rally a little longer.

"Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31 New International Version (NIV). This is the "Golden Rule." I think there were some "unto's" when I learned it as a kid. How would I want to be treated? I ask myself that. My kids get the idea. They have been known to rant during their growing up years, "How would you like it if?!..."

We can get caught up in our own busyness and see our loved one as a project to be managed or a task to be completed. Sometimes we have to take the emotion out of it and get a few things done, but they are neither of those things.

So, I pray for extra patience, which is one of those "surgery prayers" that requires a procedure or situation that requires patience, not a divine imbuing of that particular fruit, but rather a cultivation of it. And I pray for grace, that unmerited favor that is a divine gift, along with wisdom, which we are told we will be given generously without finding fault.

The support of church for caregivers of loved ones with Alzheimer's

Many look at religion as a guilt fest, wielding it like a weapon. But religion is our attempt as people to codify and reconcile the vastness of the infinite using our own brokenness as the measure. But faith is supposed to be about relationship and building bonds not bondage, bringing out the better angels of our nature. Grace is not about guilt. It is about love and being there when it is hard. That is what we are all about in this community.

That is why I love bringing my mom to church on Sunday. The people there love her. They talk to her and include her. They bring her water. They wait for her, though she walks slowly and speaks little that is coherent. They help share my burden while I'm there. Even young college students will come over and sit with her while she smiles and tries to chat.

It is life giving. We need those environments. So much of our journey is watching as life feels taken away.

Finding hope and anticipating reunion beyond Alzheimer's

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 1:1 NIV. Our present moments are consumed with safety and schedules. Meals and laundry. On our best days we get stuff done. We have outings. On our worst we hold vigils and wait for the meds to kick in or the sun to come up. We know how this eventually ends, but we also know and have some peace that the end is just for now. We have a happy reunion to look forward to that will rival any airport scene of soldiers returning from war.

Our faith tells us there is more to this life than just this life. There is more to come, and we will see each other again. This was a huge comfort for my mom after dad passed. She saw mercy and grace in it and even more hope for the future. We believe there will be wholeness one day, with no more suffering nor tears shed; although, I wonder if there will be happy tears.

So, my faith, and the object of that faith, is my comfort, my compass, and my source of compassion and courage. "An ever present help in time of need." Psalm 46:1 NIV. How does your faith sustain you? Have you had a hard time with faith as you experience the ravages of this disease? How can we that pray, pray for you?