A Solo Trip With Mom

Traveling with a loved one with Alzheimer's disease presents challenges, whether it's traveling to the store or across the country. We have traveled by van back to our old home in Buffalo from Long Island, New York, a 7-hour trip that we turned into 9 or 10 hours. We stayed in a hotel for a couple of nights, and mom only locked us out once.

My husband Scott and I had a conference for work in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, recently. There was a lot to consider. We hated to leave mom home with our kids for 3 days. That's a long time for the kids to care for her, and mom would worry. We thought about only one of us going, but we hated to miss out on going away together. We decided to take mom with us - I feel like this statement needs dramatic music, like a sting, "dun, dun, duuunn!"

A family conference adventure

We talked to the people planning the event and cleared it all. Mom could come. It was a family conference after all. People were bringing their kids. We should be able to bring her, right?

We asked for a suite in the hotel with a door separating the bedroom from the kitchenette and sitting area with a couch that folded out into a bed. It worked out perfectly. Mom slept on the pull-out in a room with a television, and Scott and I got to have a room to ourselves, apart from her snoring.

Navigating travels plans

The plot began to thicken, because after we decided to bring mom along, Scott got booked on a show back in Buffalo, taking the van, for 3 days before our trip to Philly. I would have to do all the packing and then travel to Philadelphia on the train, by way of New York City, by myself. Dun, dun, DUUUNNN!

I walked around the house, doing laundry and packing, muttering to myself, questioning why I was doing this! What was I thinking?! Was it worth it? I packed part of my and mom's clothing and sent it with Scott. He was going to take it in the van and drive straight to Philadelphia. That way, I wouldn't need to take very much when I traveled with mom.

That was a good plan.

Packing and preparing

I filled a suitcase with PJ's and pull-ups and pads for the bed. I could put them down, like I do at home, to protect the sheets and mattress. I would need trash bags for her dirties. I needed to fill her pill box for the start of the next week, the charger for her hearing aids...

The packing list was growing amidst the need to overpack and my anxiety. Why recreate and disrupt the delicate balance I have at home to manage our life and take it on the road? The RAIL! Oh, gee! I muttered a lot and nearly called it all off so. Many. Times.

Why am I doing this? We don't want this disease to stop us from living and doing things that are good for us and good for her. It will not always be this way, but today, we can do this. Spoiler alert, I do not want to go to our conference in San Diego. Just saying. But I am glad we went to Philly.

Managing mobility and safety

When we got to our local commuter rail station, I had mom, her rollator (it’s like a walker with wheels, hand breaks and a seat), a small rolling suitcase with pull-ups and a change of clothes, just in case, and a big shoulder bag with snacks, and, of course, our purses.

I should have taken the elevator up to the platform, but I wasn't sure where it was and didn't get there soon enough to look for it, so we rode the escalator. I panicked for a second thinking, "Should she go in front of me or behind?" I would rather her fall into me than behind me, so she went first and stepped off at the top just fine. There are so many little things to think about.

We didn't get to sit together on the train. I had all our stuff and the rollator doesn't have wheel locks. It could fold but not stand (huge design flaw), so I had to hold onto it and stand a few rows behind. I reassured her every time she looked back.

Making the most of the journey

Once we arrived at Penn Station in Manhattan we had more time, so we got lunch and warm cookies, eating them by the elevators down to the train platforms as we waited for the track number to be announced. Mom sat on her rollator, drinking her Diet Coke, and watching the sea of people pass by.

We sat in the handicapped seats on the Amtrak train, so we had lots of leg and suitcase room and strapped the rollator in with the tether attached to the wall. And yes, miracles do happen, because Scott made it from Buffalo to the Philly train station just as we were pulling in.

I do recommend taking the train and elevators. It wasn't a long trip, and I could relax once we were seated. Mom had a great time and tried to chat the whole way. She had a ball, and so did Scott and I, the whole time at the conference and the drive back. Cue closing happy travel music.

What trip have you taken with your loved one? Have any good tips?