I am a Millennial Caregiver of Color to Both Parents

Hello! I am a 27-year-old Asian American that is in school full time, working part-time, and a caregiver to both my mother and father.

My father is 67 and was diagnosed with mixed dementia in April 2021. My mother is 60, and I'm pretty sure she has had a lot of different psychological issues since she was young but was never diagnosed.

She was a very neglectful mother and was fully dependent on my father. If it wasn't for my father, I wouldn't have been able to survive my childhood.

I'm a millennial dementia caretaker

I was doing research and came across an article from this website talking about the rise in millennial dementia caretakers. I never would've imagined that this is what my life would be like at 27 years old.

It gets quite overwhelming and lonely. I've looked into the resources that are usually given, but I can't ever find myself relating. My friends are all in different places with their lives right now and probably won't expect to go through this for another decade or so.

Fraught family help

I get minimal help from extended family. There are a select few that have helped some, which I am grateful for.

Both of my parent's families are very culturally traditional. My mom's family, on top of that, are very strict Catholics.

Mental health is frowned upon, and I get tired of hearing, "I'm praying for you." It's disheartening that they expect me to take on full responsibilities of both parents while I'm still trying to figure out my own life and trying to build my future.

Hope and connection

I feel like I'm struggling financially, mentally, and emotionally. There are many days I feel like I'm stuck and my life is just over. I've sought therapy, but I haven't found it to be useful thus far.

I am hoping I can start finding and connecting with others that have a similar situation like mine, and that can help me push through these hard times.

This is my story.

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