In Sickness and in Health

I've wondered why wedding vows list "sickness" before "in health", now I know.

The beginning

Our journey into sickness began in 2017 as I was turning 60 and the love of my life celebrated his 70th birthday. Like many others we experienced noticing memory drops and missed details, all easily explained away. It was this time the things forgotten could not be explained away. So after seeing our doctor, a neurologist, and a neuropsycologist, it was confirmed my sweetheart had Alzheimer's disease.

Becoming a caregiver

Being his 24/7 caregiver has gotten tougher over the years, he now also has Lewy body disease to boot. Devastation is often a feeling that creeps into my thoughts. There's really not a single word to describe how a mate feels when caring for a spouse.

All the planning for retirement ripped away, confined to mostly your home as you watch others' lives flourish. But I think the worst thing is the loss, the daily missing of my best friend. I cry at times, yearning for a smile. I bury myself in his arms for a hug, and maybe for a swift moment it almost feels normal.

This morning I watched an interview with Iman, she was married to the late David Bowie. She made a very profound statement about grief she said "Grief is love with no place to go" perfectly stated. It's what I experience every day, we all do.

So now I understand why in sickness is first, when you love someone so deeply taking care of and loving a person is what you do. In health is easy.

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