Missing
Being a caregiver for my spouse, the love of my life, has been a struggle to maintain any sense of positivity. I am an artist and have found painting and writing to be a way to escape or express myself, my feelings. I recently wrote a poem called simply "Missing" and shared with my Facebook support group. Many have asked to share or encouraged me to share. I think this might be a forum for the poem. It describes the internal struggles for a spouse loosing a spouse to Alzheimer's.
Missing
By Debbie H.
Missing him for too damn long
It seems so mean, seems so wrong.
Sitting here, you and me. Staring at the Christmas tree.
Everyday it breaks my heart, seeing you the way you are, not the man you used to be
Missing you while your with me.
This disease is such a thief,
Missing you while your with me.
People say they understand, they say it must be tough.
They say I'll think about you as if that is enough.
They can't see what's missing, the hole that's in my life.
They only see the moment, not the whole sum of our plight.
But even in the darkness this maddening disease may cause,
I cling to what we once had, not linger on the loss.
I look for tiny moments, and create them when I can.
It's then at times I see a glimmer of my loving man.
A fragment of his wit and charm, gives way to fragile fate.
Missing you while your with me,
Missing you
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