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Battle Between the Head and the Heart

deb2foreveral's avatar image

By deb2foreveral

1 min read

My husband has Alzheimer's and Lewy Bodies disease, and after our last visit with our Neurologist, placement was discussed.

"For him"

Just the thought of it hit me so hard. It's a decision I just could not wrap my brain around. I realize this disease doesn't get better, it doesn't get easier to manage either. The Dr. assured me that at the stage my sweetheart was at would make the transition easier for him. Those words, "for him" hung in my thoughts like a huge heavy cloud. Everything I do has been "for him" rarely do I think of me or not being able to care for him.

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I think the battle between my head and heart was one of the worse battles I've ever experienced. I know placement will provide excellent care, activities, and a safe environment. But my totally fractured heart kept saying, "How can I let him go?!"

The hardest decision ever

To me, placing a spouse must be the hardest decision ever, after all, I made a promise. After much prayer and trusting that everyone is guiding me medically correctly, I have arranged for my husband to go to a VA memory care here. You see, he himself signed to be on a waitlist in the event things got tough for me to take care of him. He had always been concerned about me, always. Knowing that released me from my feelings of letting him down.

Now he will be cared for, and I can go daily and love on him, spoil him, and be his wife. It's not a perfect solution, there is no perfect solution with Alzheimer's/ LBD, only a hope for the best care available.

So as the day of admission approaches, I can't avoid grief or tears, but I have hope for the very best care for the one I will always love.

This is us Taken before the Dr appointment

This is our story.

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