Awful Day
Today my oldest daughter decided that I don't have Alzheimer's and that this last year was all just an act. I have been through hell and have lost so much and now risk losing the relationship with my closest child. It's all over a misunderstanding but I know it's my fault and I really don't know how much longer I can go on like this...how long until my husband gives up on me and abandons me to a facility. I mean I understand that I can be a handful and very annoying but there is so little tolerance for people with Alzheimer's in our society. We don't fit in anywhere. We are lost and abandoned.
, sending you (((hugs))). First, let me say, this is not your fault. There is no fault. It just is. Your daughter may be in denial, and I wanted to share an article that speaks to denial by our loved ones: https://bit.ly/3X4H3zW. I know that it is upsetting, but please know that you are not responsible for how others receive news, or respond to you, or what they may be able to accept at any time.
Have you spoken with your husband about what happened with your daughter? Maybe consider bringing her to your appointment and allowing her to speak with your doctor. It might go a long way.
Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. -Warmly, Donna (Team Member)Thank you Donna. I spoke with my counselor this afternoon and she explained that I am afraid. My ego is dying and it feels like my soul is being ripped from me but in truth my life is just getting simpler. After leading an academic life and all of the challenges that has brought I have just been fighting this process every step of the way. Today I thought I could no longer take the pain of the daily humiliation and frustrations of this disease but my counselor reminded that I just fought back from pneumonia if I was ready to go I would have not sought out treatment but I did and I fought back. I am stronger than I give myself credit for and my family is in denial. I think that has helped them for the last year not to worry about me and face the reality of the situation. I am not capable of caring for my grandchildren and in truth need help caring for myself. I think it will take time for my children (5) to process my disease as I am still coming to terms with it. Some of them may never come to terms with it. I love them all dearly and believe that meeting with the physician to explain to them the disease is an excellent idea. My husband is very supportive and it would be good if some of the children were to offer him support. This disease will get better as my life gets simpler and I accept with gratitude and grace all of the support I do have from staff, my husband and my friends. Most importantly that I focus on God who does comfort me each day. I am so grateful that I have this place to come and share my feelings while I still can. I don't know how long that will be but for today I am grateful. Thank you so much
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How do you feel after reading the article? Does it help to know that what is happening is expected? You mentioned that it was getting harder to find things - is there something I can help you find - is there any information that you're looking for?
How have things been going overall? I hope you are feeling better (from the pneumonia & pleurisy), and that the weekend will be wonderful. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
it was his first day of school, on his 3rd day of school he broke his arm on the monkey bars. This is my oldest daughter's son which is the last bit of stress she needs along with dealing with me. I felt so bad for my sweet grandson. I wish I could take care of him. I love him so much!💔 , I'm glad that you had some time with your friend. Was she receptive to another visit? (I hope so!) Sometimes people do distance themselves, and I think that is just that their season in our life is fulfilled.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandson! Poor little guy! How is he doing? His cast should make him a celebrity!
I'm glad the week has been going well. I hope the weekend is even better! - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
I am really excited because after church tomorrow my daughter has agreed that I can come over and visit with my grandsons. My counselor told me to sit in a comfortable place and stay there and let the children come up to me. I am also going to stay for just one hour. Because my counselor suggested that I might get overwhelmed if I stay too long. But I am just so excited to see them. They mean so much to me and they are the sweetest boys! it went really well. We brought donuts and kept it simple. The boys were happy to see us. 
, oh, he's beautiful! And he looks like he had as much fun as you did! I'm so glad everything went well. Any plans for another visit? - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
