How to accept diagnosis
My husband was recently diagnosed with early onset Dementia but is in complete denial, attributes low cognitive test due to gabapentin. Doesn't want to talk about it at all. Believes that all will right itself now that he is no longer taking the drug. As his caregiver, how do I approach this?
First of all, I am sorry that both of you are going through this. I can only tell you how I would approach this. I would take a low key approach but be firm on things that involve living safely. I would let things play out over time (but monitor him closely) and see how things go with how he accepts things and manages his daily life. I would focus on the good things that you share and enjoy together. Thoughts? Scott AlzheimersDisease.net Team Member
Thank you for confirming my thoughts on keeping a low profile and just being here for support when needed. He knows that I have been researching this disease but haven't shared much at this point. He will still tell me about "Forgetful moments" & ask if I think it's old age or what. I tell him that I am not a Dr. & what he described could have happened to anyone ... Our 1st appt. With Neurologist is 5/15 and I can not wait! I have seen a big change in him recently; depression, not practicing (Musician), sleeping all day & up all night. He is typically very outgoing on & off the stage but now is becoming withdrawn & isolates himself from the outside. I know this is all a part of the process so I try to engage him in activities but he gets mad & accuses me of being negative and not believing that he can beat this thing. 😥
I feel that you are being very supportive and directing his thoughts in the right places. I hope that your neurologist appointment is helpful and gives the both of you some clarity moving forward. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself and managing your own health and feelings. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. Scott AlzheimersDisease.net Team Member
How did the appointment go? I hope the neurologist was helpful and the appointment was all you were hoping it would be. Living with this disease requires a different mind set. It’s not like most diseases. That’s what no one is used to. It’s about getting the most out of your life. It’s circling the wagons, building your care team of family and friends. It’s about not being an island. Good can come out of this. People can come along side you that you didn’t realize. You will be stronger and your bond will stronger with your husband that y’all ever imagined. We are here for you. Blessings, Kathy M alzheimersdisease.net team
Member.When I was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's I was paralyzed with fear, I wish that fear was part of the grief model...before deniel, bargaining, sadness, anger and finally acceptance was FEAR! What is going to happen to me? Am I going to remember my friends or my family...how to dress or how to act? Will I be able to cook or drive? A lot has changed in a year and a half we do have Home Healthcare and they are so nice to me. I don't drive anymore but I think that depends on the person. I don't speak but I am able to write and work with a speech therapist. I am learning to sign. I like watching mystery shows. I don't like going into anywhere with a crowd. I spend almost all of my time with my husband when he is home from work but he takes Wednesday off to take care of me. I do get sad for my old life as a college professor but I have a good group of people who love me and visit me. God still takes a central roll in my life and go to Mass on Sunday early when it's quiet. God bless you and know that your life will change but it can become something of simplicity and great beauty @donnaFA
, that is eloquent. I embrace quiet and simplicity, I am an INFJ, a complete raging introvert. And funnily enough, just thinking of your last post - I often choose not to speak. My partner smiles and says he understands my gestures and my need for quiet. And I prefer to be in my own home. I shop online because then I don't have to encounter crowds - they are vexations to the spirit.
I have been heartened since we started talking that you have such a sweet and wonderful group of people on your team.
I understand the fear as well. That is always my reaction as well, fear of what will change. And I can understand the sense of loss of life as a professor. But there is a you under that persona, and that is who all those people who love and treasure you are connected to. You are a beautiful soul. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
