My mum refuses to go to the doctor; how can I get her to go?

Hi @JJtheJoJo, you could try telling her that you feel poorly, and ask her to accompany you to the doctor with you. Just clue your doctor in so he can start the visit focused on you, and then do some exploring into her reactions and behaviors. Keep us posted! -Warmly, Donna (team member)

Hi . Just checking in to see if you've had any success getting your mother to the doctor. Let us know how things are going when you have a chance. Sending you positive thoughts! Warmly, Patty (AlzheimersDisease.net Team Member)

I wanted to reach out because I just saw your post. Both of my parents had the Alzheimer's diagnosis. I also have a disability and was primary caretaker for my mom.


First I want to say thank you for stepping up and trying your best. Educating yourself on ways to help you, to help your mom, is so very important. You mentioned that your mom does not have a diagnosis when you wrote your post. However, clearly you are seeing her functional deterioration daily. Does your mom have an established primary doctor and neurologist?


I do know that you mentioned that your mom, because of her observed cognitives changes is not wanting to go to the doctor. Which I have lived through with my loved ones and understand. If you haven't already done so I would reach out to your mom's primary doctor and explain in detail the changes you are seeing. Express you have a disability yourself and need some support in helping your mom. I know my parent's primary doctor offered some good advice and recommendations for local services in the area.


I also do not know if you have access to the internet and the ability to do an online appointment with your mom and the doctor. This could be a helpful start to get her talking and observed by the physician. Also, I have attached an article that gives some helpful information on tips to get your loved one with cognitive changes to the doctor, and resources that are available. Hope you find the article helpful. https://www.alzheimersblog.org/2018/04/27/convince-loved-memory-loss-doctor/.
Please know I understand first hand what it is like to have a disability and be a main caretaker for a loved one with cognitive changes. Having the proper support system and availability to resources is vital. I am enclosing an article that references some additional supports that are out also out there. https://alzheimersdisease.net/answers/resources. My next question is do you have the legal ability to make medical decisions for her if she becomes unable to do so? From experience with both of my parents. Having and understanding the legal requirements that are necessary to have in place are key. I have attached a great article by one of my fellow community health members Kelsey. Her article outlines the terms and steps to take to do what is needed. These documents will help you to be able to make medical decisions and get her help. https://alzheimersdisease.net/living/legal-terms-in-dementia-care.


Please keep us posted on how you and your mom are doing. If you have any further questions on the links or information I have sent. Just reach back out. I am glad you are able to be there for your mom. Very glad you are part of our community. Just Keep Swimming...Lynn Marie, "AlzheimersDisease.net Team Member"

Thank you for sharing how things are going with your mom. My best thought right now is to share with your mom how her going to the doctor would help YOU, how she can help you by going. In my home here my mother in law has a lot of these issues as well and is also still very maternal and wants to assist and help. Maybe asking her to help you would trigger that in your mom as well. Just a thought. By the way, I admire your care and love for her. It inspires us. Scott AlzheimersDisease.net Team Member.