Sole Caregiver
Hi folks,
I'm my wife's sole caregiver. Inability to stand or walk, incontenence, halucinations and lack of appetite are a daily "thing" for us. My wife and I are both 66. My biggest fear is ME falling and getting severely injured or even something simple like a 24hr flu. She can't use her phone for help and I'm afraid to get her an assistance button due to her pushing it all the time. She has one now, but it calls my phone in case I'm not in the room. What does everyone else due when they are the sole caregiver and, for whatever reason, can't do their duties. It's trying at times, but we're dealing the cards we're dealt and getting the best out of everyday together.
, I thought you might find this article helpful - in it our contributor Lynn talks about being the sole caregiver for her mom while managing a chronic health condition. There may be some helpful tips for you - https://alzheimersdisease.net/living/chronic-condition-while-caregiving. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member) Thanks for the link. I know I will probably have to, one day, place her in a facility, but my worry today is what happens when I'm flat on my back with the flu or I fall down the steps and can't get up to get to a phone. I know there's really no magical answer. I guess I was hoping someone came up with a solution I haven't thought of.
Thanks again for the help,
Rick, well, a couple of thoughts while you wait for feedback from the community- have you considered a Bluetooth earbud? You can make and receive calls on it, and it would always be in your ear, so close at hand. It would allow you to answer calls and call for help if you were compromised, and since it is a personal/on-body advice, you wouldn't have to worry about your wife creating false alarms. Some of them are even voice-activated, so if you were unable to use your arms or hands, you could still get help.
Another option. Echo, Google Home and Alexa devices can make calls for you, but you cannot receive calls on them.
There are pendants, watches and other devices that have emergency alert functions that may be useful. The NCOA has some of the best listed and reviewed on their site.
I hope something here feels helpful. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
Hi Donna, You have a couple good thoughts there. I have Alexa, but never thought, or knew, it can place calls. I'll have to look into that. The pendants and watches, I have for her now, and have them programmed to call me instead of 911. We do a daily rehersal of "If I'm not here and you need help, what do you do?" drill. In the beginning, she would give some pretty off the wall answers. One time she suggested calling the VA. (she's an Air Force vet). , but through daily drilling, she has the "Push my button" answer down pretty good. But I think you might be suggesting one for me also. That might be a very good idea, for the falling down the stairs scenario. The old "I've fallen and can't get up" commerical. I've been thinking about my situation alot since my first post, and I may consider having someone come in a couple hours a day, just to have a second set of eyes on hand every day. One day at a time is all we all can do.
Thanks again,
Rick, you're most welcome, I hope it helps! Your wife wanting to call the VA makes sense in her frame of reference - who do you call when things aren't right and you need medical help? And sometimes one moment at a time is what is manageable!
I also wanted to pass this tool along - it's a self-assessment checklist from the University of Buffalo that helps identify trip/fall/safety hazards in the home, and how to fix them : https://www.tompkinscountyny.gov/files2/cofa/documents/hssat_v3.pdf - It's pretty comprehensive and also talks about assistive devices - a lot of them are things that we learned here over this past year since I lost my leg - things you don't think about till you have to. I hope that helps as well!
Having another set of eyes is also a fantastic idea - as I said above, someone with fresh eyes will see all those things we become blind to because of familiarity.
Stay in touch and let us know how things are going. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
- Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
