Brain Fog and All
It is a lot harder to make decisions now. With an Alzheimer's diagnosis, I find that I am always questioning my judgment. Lines become blurred, brain fog sets in, and confusion reigns. It's not good if I have a lot on my mind - I can't compartmentalize like I used to.
All things weigh heavy on me. I can't concentrate on one thing because I can't take that one thing out of the jumble in my head. It is so frustrating.
A broken filter
I worry a lot. I worry about very trivial things. Why do I let that stuff take up space in my brain? I can't filter it out. I became obsessed with details. I used to be able to handle lots of detailed plans for events, trips, etc. Now I can't do that either, and I am more of a person who says, "Show me what to do, and I will do it."
But I still need a plan to get through the day. I don't deal with curveballs very well or surprises. I get frustrated and angry if I don't know what is happening. I can't seem to go with the flow anymore.
Alzheimer's and the importance of routine
Routine is essential to someone with Alzheimer's, and once that routine is changed, it very often doesn't end well.
I find that if a routine is broken, it throws my whole day off. I can't regroup. I can't tell you I am having a problem with it because it would sound stupid to you that I couldn't switch gears at the drop of a hat.
Alzheimer's brain fog
Communication becomes very difficult. When something isn't "right" or the way it is supposed to be, it sets me into panic mode. People know something is wrong with me, but I can't tell them what it is. It is all jumbled up inside my brain, and it doesn't seem like there is any way that I can fix it.
I then have to have quiet time to regroup and rest my brain. Sometimes that takes a while. My family and friends have to be patient with me. That is hard for all of us.
When it is hard to take control of things, you suddenly realize how many things can never be in your control, like the weather or the traffic. If traffic makes me late for an appointment, I panic.
I panic because it isn't right to be late and what if this person thinks I stood them up and left. My thought process becomes hampered, and I can't get myself in the mindset of being able to call and tell people I am running late. That would be what a normal person would do. But, I am not normal anymore. My mind seems hard-wired that all I have to do is go to my appointment. There are no other alternatives in my brain.
Brain fog is hard to explain. I wish I didn't have so much of it. Want to hear more about brain fog and symptoms from the Alzheimer's community? Search our forums.
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