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What is a Bad Day?

Having a bad day with Alzheimer's isn't the end of the world, but it can certainly feel that way. It seems if I start out having things go wrong in the morning the rest of my day will be off.

I often tell my friends that I never know when I will have a hard day so I ask for their patience. So, what is a bad day? I'll give you an example.

A bad day with Alzheimer's for me

My husband was gone for some reason so I thought I would get a lot done around the house. But before I did that, I decided to work on a new fishing rod.

I needed to string the line but I couldn't remember how to do it. It kept getting tangled and I would start all over. It became increasingly difficult and more frustrating to me. It was a simple task and one I had done often. That day, it wasn't happening.

I decided to put it aside and do a load of laundry. I loaded the washer but then couldn't remember how to turn it on. How simple is that? I started to feel my anxiety level go up. Another simple task I couldn’t complete.

I decided to put that task aside and thought I would go clean up my craft room. It was a mess because I had been working on several projects. When I walked into the room, I knew exactly what needed to be done. I needed to stack and organize my card stock, clean up some paint, put the glue away, and vacuum. Although my brain was telling me what to do I physically couldn't do it. My brain was not communicating to the rest of my body what needed to be done. I thought maybe if I could just stack the card stock I would get something done.

I remember standing there feeling so hopeless because as simple as that was, I couldn't get my arms and legs moving to do it. It was all so overwhelming to me. Another task now had to wait.

Trying to live with Alzheimer's

I then decided it might do me good to go outside and take a walk. As soon as I opened the door I felt a panic attack come on. All I could think of was going outside and not being able to find my way back home with no one to call.

I couldn't risk it. I shut the door and decided to stay home. My mind kept telling me to try again but to no avail.

Fighting a fight that is fixed

I realized at that point, I was a prisoner in my own house due to no fault of my own. I felt stupid, I felt alone and I felt vulnerable. I am not a "crier" but that day I cried.

I cried because I realized that I was going to have many more of these days and there was literally nothing I could do about it. I am fighting a fight that is fixed and not fixed in my favor. That is how I live with Alzheimer's.

How do you define a bad day with Alzheimer's? Tell us about your experience in the comments below, or share your story with the community.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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