Creating Memories: Implementing Hands-on Activities With Dignity

While it has been 2 years since my father's passing, I recall vividly navigating his care. His days and nights traveled in many directions, but that didn't matter much to me. I was determined to find my way with him.

I leaned on the support from family and my experience as a teacher. As caregivers do, I was determined to give him the best guidance toward his health and wellness, dignity, and endless amounts of care and love.

When Dad needed to retire due to the progression of his Alzheimer's disease, keeping a structured routine helped. There were days when things didn't go as planned, and this I expected. My father always liked to stay busy. Growing up, Dad was referred to as Mr. Fix-It, and this didn't stop while he battled Alzheimer's.

Finding joy in everyday tasks

As Dad's Alzheimer's advanced, he still had bouts of energy to take walks and help with yard work. He helped fold clothes, emptied the dishwasher, and topped up the birdseed in his feeders daily.

We knew his choices of activities needed to change when we observed additional confusion and frustration. Dad started looking at us more frequently, asking, "Now, what do I do?" and "What is this for?"

These bumps in our journey had me reflecting and thinking up ways to try new things with Dad that he and I could do together. My approach was that our scheduled activity time be enjoyable. I thought of what we had available at home and what I could purchase inexpensively. I planned activities that were appealing, approachable, entertaining, and supportive of Dad's needs.

Adapting engaging activities as Alzheimer's progresses

Before any activity, I considered the materials' safety, the activity's estimated timing, the location, and Dad's ability and agility to engage. I referred to these activities as mini explorations, but to Dad, they were known as a good time.

Planning a good time for Dad required only a handful of supplies. We would engage until he felt tired. A particular favorite was Dad taking the comics from the newspaper, cutting them out, and taping them onto scrap paper. While Dad was busy, I would consider what we should do next.

Roll with it

As a caregiver, you learn to understand better the needs, likes, dislikes, and attitudes of the one you care for. Even with changes, you understand them well enough to know what activity they may wish to try. Not every activity I planned for Dad was successful, and that was okay.

Time in the kitchen

Dad loved helping prepare simple recipes. We would make tasty treats he could share and feast upon during the week. Considering his sweet tooth, we made desserts that did not include a lot of added sugar, so we often made pudding, fruit salad, low-calorie muffins, and all-natural, zero-calorie sugar cookies.

Our recipes included whole-grain flour and homemade apple sauce in place of oil. Dad was always ready to help mix, whisk, wash, scoop, sift, frost, and taste.

Safety was paramount, so I took over retrieving things from the oven, using sharp kitchen tools, and purchasing the ingredients Dad helped me shop for. Dad was also encouraged to help wash dishes. He always enjoyed playing in the soapy water.

Hands-on fun

Many of our activities kept my father's hands and body in motion. Dad needed to be allowed to be himself even though his body and mind were changing. Dignity, deliverance of care, and kindness were always at the top of my list when caring for Dad.

Each day, we explored things around the house, in the basement and garage, and our purchases from local dollar and craft stores. Whether we were creating or having an adventure, we made meaningful memories.

What kinds of activities do you engage in with your loved one?

To help spark ideas further, I have created a list of my father's favorites:

• Stamps and ink. Providing Dad with a notepad, ink, and rubber stamps had him stamping away. Dad enjoyed tearing out his stamped pages, sharing his prints with loved ones, and hanging them on the refrigerator.
• Playdough fun. Dad didn't mind getting his hands messy. We made our playdough using a nontoxic recipe. We mixed in all-natural food coloring to add a pop of color. Dad explored with a rolling pin and plastic cutouts to create shapes and characters.
• Photo labels. Dad was a fan of his photo collection. I would select a handful of photos from a photo box, and he would share what he could in each photo. As he spoke, I took notes. Next, I would create sticky labels and help Dad place them onto the back of each identified photo.
• Creativity kits. Dad and I visited craft stores selling all-in-one craft kits geared for children. The kits were suitable for our hands-on explorations and included larger-sized materials for an easy grasp, such as thick crayons and a wide-handled paintbrush. As seasonal events approached, various ornaments, table settings, and masks were available to color and paint.
• Rock garden. Walking with Dad to his garden brought joy. We would admire the flowers, and Dad would pull weeds and water the garden. He was fascinated with the stones that lay in his garden bed. Carrying his bucket, he filled it with a handful of rocks. We enjoyed inspecting them and identifying their unique shapes.

The making of memories

I miss Dad beyond measure. Despite the physical and emotional hardships, helping to care for Dad was what was best for our family. Planning activities for him where he and I could explore, bond, and have a good time while he created something and felt involved are forever cherished memories.