Growing and Healing With the Changes of the Seasons
Like many, I enjoy listening to the radio in my car. I switched things up the other day and turned the dial from FM to AM. Scanning the stations, I heard the lyrics to a familiar song. Playing was Turn! Turn! Turn! Known to many as "To Everything There Is a Season." This morning, they featured singer and songwriter Pete Seeger.
As my ears absorbed the lyrics, I was immediately taken to memories of my father. My ride to work usually had me thinking of my to-do list but instantly shifted to reflecting upon, honoring, and recognizing how I was healing from his passing.
Honor your emotions
As the song ended, the lyrics stuck with me as I reminisced about my father. I found myself choking up as the song took me back to my caregiving days when Dad and I enjoyed car rides together, conducting errands, attending appointments, and taking time for drives to immerse ourselves in Earth's beauty. We especially loved our visits to state parks and cruising along scenic byways.
As I recall our time together before, during, and after my father's battle with Alzheimer's, I felt a wave of calm. My mind burst with memories of celebrating our lives and honoring the love and care we had for one another.
It has been a little over 2 years since my father passed. Adjusting to his loss has been challenging. I found emotional support among family and leaned on friends by talking all about him. I take comfort in knowing that my father is at peace. While I miss him dearly, I know he is with me in spirit.
What soothes me as I navigate my life with his passing is that I see signs of his presence on the daily. I feel him close to me as I watch birds feed at his trusted feeders and when I see a red cardinal fly by. I sense him comforting me as I walk among the meadows of colorful flowers. His presence is incredibly noticeable when I observe kindness among strangers. These simple things are what ease my pain as I grieve his loss.
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View all responsesNo time limit on grief
I am learning there is no time limit to grief. While many experiences of grieving are similar, everyone deals with grief and its magnitude of emotions in different ways. When I embrace the hard, I am reminded of the good, like the seasons of change turn! Turn! Turn! The song's first verse:
To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season turn, turn, turn,
And a time for every purpose under heaven
It evokes a few tears but also gratitude for all the love and kindness Dad shared with my family and me.
Looking back at my father's life and the years leading to his decline, I remember the special times when we shared smiles and laughter in abundance. Dad was a strong man in so many ways. He rarely let things get him down, and he always did his best to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. Pushing forward is what I have done, too. The slogan "one day at a time" has supported me through my heartache.
As I think back to the song on the radio, I recall the beauty of the seasons with my father and embrace them. Celebrating and honoring the things Dad and I used to do helps me process my grief.
Embracing the seasons
I am learning to accept my father's loss without as much sadness but by cherishing our memories of special times. My grief is like the changing seasons, bringing me a fresh perspective that it is alright for me to move forward with my life as I mourn.
Reflecting on my time with my father, I am better equipped to embrace the seasons in ways similar to the lyrics. Let me share how my father and I celebrated the changing seasons by keeping our precious time alive and reliving special times.
Honoring and celebrating the seasons
For Dad and I, winter was an opportunity to celebrate the snow. It offered a blanket of freshness and a sense of tranquility. We delighted in birds feeding at the feeders through the windows and squirrels munching on sunflower seeds. On the warmer winter days, we took walks in the woods and hung up Christmas decorations for passersby to admire.
When spring sprung, Dad and I celebrated opportunities for new beginnings. We planted bulbs and seedlings. Observing our seedlings' growth gave us the daily task of nourishing them, like we did for each other. Dad cheerfully passed these seedlings on to others to grow and picked spring flowers to share.
Summer brought us outdoors to take in the sun. We would often make a jug of fresh lemonade to prepare us for the day and help quench our thirst. Sitting in our lawn chairs, we waved hello and smiled at the joggers, cyclists, and dog walkers who passed. When the sun became too hot, we took shade under the oak tree and looked for 4-leaf clovers among the grass.
The beautiful autumn colors had us raking leaves, picking pumpkins, and devouring apple pie and cider donuts. The days had us relishing the cool, crisp air as we walked and talked. We shuffled through piles of leaves and visited the local library, where we participated in complimentary arts and crafts to create something seasonally festive.
Healing through grief after Alzheimer's
Allowing myself to experience my emotions and respect my feelings of mourning my father's loss, I grow in peace and gratitude for the love and sacrifice he so willingly and proudly shared with his family. Missing my father will last my lifetime and will always be a part of me, but through the passing days, weeks, months, and changing of the seasons, I heal.
In what ways do you honor your loved one?
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