Does your loved one living with Alzheimer’s Disease live in your home with you?
Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease is challenging. Bringing them into your home has particular challenges, especially if you are still raising your own family. It’s a whole ‘nother type of blended family. Do you have ground rules? What has been your experience? What has worked and hasn’t worked? What questions do you have?
I live with my husband by of 62 years with Alzheimer’s Dementia! What makes it better , his comprehension is gone!is that he’s mobile, and can do things for himself(with my help)!
, that must help a great deal with bathing and dressing. Do you have any outside help, or is it just the two of you? - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
My husband & I had 4 foster children (all siblings) off & on until they came to stay with us permanently, and we adopted them. Shortly after, my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers. I saw the signs, but the doctor kept saying it was just old age...at 64? Then he was diagnosed with Diabetes II.
So, now I have 4 adopted children in their teens, a husband with Alzheimers & Diabetes, and a dog who is so attached to me. I have to take care of & manage everyone. I don't have any family close enough to help. My husband sits in his chair from 6am to 9pm watching TV reruns. I have to manage his meds & finger stick tests. Most of the time he doesn't understand why he has to take meds, do blood tests, & eat right. The kids are being.....well, teenagers. Plus, they have issues from their "previous" life.
Today, the toilet backed up, the car is having problems, & my bank account on line says I have $158 when I should have almost $1700.
I feel so overwhelmed., oh my, that's certainly a full platter (much bigger than a plate!). Have you had a chance to check with the bank? Have you sat the kids down, explained the situation, and asked them for help with age-appropriate tasks? I did that with mine when I was newly single and struggling. They were surprisingly helpful (with only the occasional obligatory grumble). I'm sending you (((hugs))), love and light. Please know that we're here to listen and share support and resources. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member) asking the kids to pitch in is not a bad idea. Ask what they can do to help. Maybe one of them is good at organizing and can be in charge of a grocery list or chore list, another or pair can do the shopping or ordering online for delivery, organizing laundry and cleaning. Having responsibility will help them grow and mature and be even more invested as a family. It’s a learning and growing opportunity for everyone. Y’all are strong. Not everyone fosters and adopts. Good for you! Let us know how it goes! Blessings, Kathy M team member.
My mother has been living with my husband and I for 10 years and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 10 years ago. She now has Alzheimer’s Dementia at 94 years old. We had caregivers up until 1 year ago when I took over 24/7 caregiving. Recently we hired a caregiver 2 days per week to give me a break. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart. A lot of hard work and patience. I have never been known for my patience. The caregiver showers her, does her laundry, changes her sheets, makes her lunch and keeps her company. It’s only 5 hours but every little bit helps and I love her! I have COPD and was able to take 42 sessions of PT. I have been able connect and have lunch with friends. With that being said, I struggle with not having a perfect home, perfect wife, etc. This is all new to me not working outside the home, so I feel I should be able to do it all. I’m becoming more impatient with mom getting her ready for bed. My husband has been having issues with health, had knee surgery and had to have an artery replaced last year and is having angioplasty next week that hopefully won’t turn into surgery again. I am just overwhelmed. I try to have mom do what she can but wonder if I should just dress her??? She’s mobile with a walker and want to keep all of her limbs working as long as possible. Am I expecting too much of her? I have started having her lay down in her bedroom to rest for 45 minutes after lunch to help with Sundowning and it seems to have helped her be less agitated at that time. So far seems to help. Sorry so long..
Hi
, welcome, we're glad that you're here!
You may be expecting too much of your mom, but you are definitely expecting too much of yourself. Lewis Mumford said, "Utopias rest on the fallacy that perfection is a legitimate goal of human existence." and Maria Shriver said, "Perfection doesn't make you feel perfect, it makes you feel inadequate." Be gentle with yourself. You are caretaking and aging loved one with a degenerative disease, and enduring a chronic illness that depletes and fatigues you. Under the best of circumstances, no one can do it all.
It sounds like the post-lunch nap is helping with sundowning, and that she is receptive to it. Maybe laying out her clothes and letting her dress herself would take some of the stress out it for both of you.
It sounds like the aid is good for both of you, and like you definitely need the independence she allows you. Especially with your husband's impending surgery, it might help to have her come an additional day or two per week. When things are back to normal, maybe ask her to maintain 3 days per week, and use that third day to take on some of the projects that make you feel like you're not doing enough - just realize there won't be time to do it all, prioritize what is most important to you, and will give you the biggest feeling of accomplishment.
Sending you love and light. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
