How do I keep my spouse from obsessing?
My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular impairment. He’s been obsessing on our taxes and keeps wanting to go through our paperwork and he either misplaces things or gets everything mixed up that I’ve organized. He also keeps having me call to confirm the date and time for our appointment with our preparer, which is still 2 weeks away. Do I hide the paperwork? I’ve already explained to him that we have everything we need. I’m at a loss as to what to do
Hi
, I thought I'd check in while you're waiting for feedback from the community. How does your husband handle "out of sight, out of-mind"? If that works with him, hiding things might work. If not, it could cause more anxiety for him if he can't find the paperwork. Alternately, how about if you hid this year's paperwork to keep it all together, and maybe leaving out last year's documents?
Also, maybe your tax preparer can help you with this by sending a visit confirmation card that you can tack to the fridge where he can see it and be reassured.
Hopefully you'll get some feedback that will buy you both a little peace of mind. -Warmly, Donna (team member)Thank you for your response. I think I’m just going to have to deal with it until the next obsession. He asks about the paperwork daily whether it’s visible or not and confuses the date for our appt so your suggestion of posting it in a highly visible place is one I will try. I have a small whiteboard that I can use to write the next appt coming up along with the current day and date.
, I hope that works for you! Let us know how it goes. If it works, maybe that will be something to tuck in your arsenal against anxiety. Fingers crossed, sending love and light. - Warmly, Donna (team member)
Hi, and thanks for sharing. I went through similar experiences when caring for my father. With similar mannerisms and confusion, I placed a handful of documents in a file folder. Every few days, I would take the contents of the folder and mix them up a bit so he didn't start with the same set of papers. He knew he had a folder but could not recall fully its contents. When he requested it, I offered him time to ask me questions. I'd answer in simpler terms to help lessen his frustration. I would tell Dad I would help him by jotting down his questions and the places he wanted to visit to get more information. For example, we would visit the bank to get a balance. He immediately felt comforted by this option and about receiving a hard copy. I know these types of experiences and transitions of the disease are not easy. I wish you continued strength. If you haven't already, please talk with your care team and family/friends to learn how they can support you and share their ideas. Warmly, Nancy Team member @
