I know it’s coming, but what and when?
Sorry I’ve not been able to be on here much. Imo communication is everything when you need a buddy to vent to.
My dad is 94, memory span is averaging 2 minutes at most. Then the same questions start all over again. I have him in the finest assisted living in my area I’m certain. I even chose a 3 room apartment over a 1 room. But cost I up to 6 k a month now. So we have to move him to a single room.
We have been paying for extra caregivers 5 days a week, 7 hours per day because the facility is just not able to check on him as often as I feel he needs it.
My wife and I struggle with my step son who has downs and dementia coming on strong and fast. We deal with that 24/7.
I had weekend caregivers but we had to let them go due to budget.
My dad no longer remembers who has died in my family and who is still living. I’m afraid to mention my mom being gone because if he can’t remember that I’m not sure how it will feel for me.
This is more a venting post. And lastly, he can’t bathe or dress himself any more. And he is so feeble he can barely walk so I know he will fall again soon.
I feel guilty I can’t be with him all the time but I’m almost 70 and I’m doing all I can do.
God pls help us to do more for our loved one’s until the end.
Sincerely, Robbie.
Hiplease don't ever feel like you need to apologize to us, we are here when you need us. I am so glad you have reached out. I hope knowing that this is a safe space with people who understand, has allowed you to fully be able to vent without holding back. I can hear how challenging all of this has been for you and your family. Watching your dad go through all of this, must be so hard. It sounds like you have done everything you can to ensure he is getting the best health care.
My heart also goes out to you with the care of your step son. You are going through so much, I can't even imagine how difficult it is for you to have to watch two loved ones struggle. Guilt is a strong emotion and can be hard to manage. It truly sounds like you are doing all that you can in trying to balance being there for others, as well as yourself. I can hear how much this is tearing you a part. Your family is lucky to have you. I am sending you prayers and strength. Jill (Team Member)Jill, thx for the kind sincere words. They definitely help. You know it’s frustrating, but truth is, there’s so many more who struggle much more and have so much more pain than I do.
I often thank God for the help I get every day.
I think the part that hurts me the most is knowing my dad was a career Air Force man. Who ran a flight line literally.
Now he just sits and stares and eats cakes all day because his dementia makes his body crave sugar. Sometimes life does not seem fair. But it’s my job to take care of him and my family. And I will do this until the end. Thx for kindness and prayers.💙❤️
, I'm so glad to hear that you have a robust support team. It means a lot to be able to take a breath and regroup so that you can give your best to your loved one.
Life for sure doesn't feel fair when we kind of earn an easy life at the end of our working lives. Especially those who have given so much in service. I think your dad and your family for his service (he who waits, also serves). Please know we're always here whenever you need t chat. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)I am so glad it is helping you to talk it out. I can't even imagine how difficult it is to watch your dad like this. You are right, life isn't always fair. Your dad is lucky to have you and have the amazing assisted facility. As you mentioned, not everyone is as fortunate. Try to spend each day with him as the true blessing that it is. Take care of yourself, you are doing a great job! Jill (Team Member)
Hi
, as Jill said, please don't feel the need to apologize. We're always here and we know how hectic life is nowadays.
I hear that you are struggling to do the best you can for your loved ones. Please be gentle with yourself and know that is a fact. Our memberhas written some posts and stories on how she built a care team around herself. She may have some useful feedback about how to reach out to your church and organizations for help in checking up on your dad. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
