Finding New Purpose While Coping With Alzheimer’s Depression

Life has been "life-ing." I have had a significant increase in anxiety and depression. This often leaves me secluded and unwilling to reach out. I keep trying to compare my journey to theirs. However, mine was completely opposite of what their Alzheimer's symptoms were.

It is a cruel joke; watching the deterioration of your life through the eyes of your heartbeat - your soulmate, your best friend, your equal, but not anymore.

The last should be first.

Comparing and contrasting Alzheimer’s symptoms

My mother and uncles experienced more anger and aggression. My experience seems to be the exact opposite. I am fearful and tearful. I have developed almost autistic-like tendencies regarding routine and structure. I cannot vary from either.

It is inconceivable to watch the look in your love's eyes change from passion, need, and soul-deep connection, to that of a caregiver. No longer an equal; side by side yet not able to connect.

The last should be first.

Expanding my community and finding meaning

I found a place to give back through a fellow support group member. I bit the bullet and went to Community Crossroads. This is a community outreach program focused on serving unhoused people. This work has given my life new meaning.

We were helped with some groceries at a particularly low point in my wife's breast cancer battle, and I wanted to give back. Long story short, they want to start a project involving the collection of some health data on our neighbors in the community that we serve.

It is unspeakable loss to watch the adult relationships you have nurtured with your grown children, and have now come to fruition, revert back as they now care for you.

The last should be first.

Finding purpose while living with Alzheimer's

I will be hanging out with my new friends while we do blood pressure and blood glucose testing. I will share public health data and help connect those with medical issues to resources.

I am humbled and thankful for this new sense of purpose. For 4 hours every Monday morning, I feel almost normal again. Taking blood pressure and glucose measures does not require my nursing license. I feel capable of doing this.

Looking into the eyes of your grandson and seeing the man you will never get to know or remember, yet hoping he remembers you.

The last should be first.

Developing coping mechanisms for Alzheimer's

I am trying to journal as a coping mechanism. It helps me better articulate how I am feeling, almost like a diary.

I would rather not know them than watch them not know me.

I would rather the last be first.

It's no secret that Alzheimer's can impact mental health. How do you cope with the ups and downs that come with this diagnosis? Share in this forum.