Driving
Does anyone have experience with a loved one flat-out REFUSING to be told they are not to drive, even after two doctors as well as two State Troopers and one local policeman have reinforced that directive?
My dad is absolutely hell-bent on getting his hands on a vehicle and driving. It's heartbreaking, because he has always loved to drive and loved being 100% independent and marching to his own drum. Right now we have his truck in the shop, and every week they're telling him 2-3 more weeks until they can take a look at it. He is always agreeable to them, but when he gets home he fixates on it. He refuses to be anywhere else on the planet except for right here where his truck is.
Any suggestions as to how to transition him to being willing to Uber and rideshare and stop fixating on his vehicle would be sooo very appreciated.
Hi Jojo, when I read your post, I knew exactly what you were referring to. I know and understand the challenges of this situation as a caregiver to my father. I am sending along continued patience and support as you navigate the journey of having to take the keys away. I found that consistency in my replies to Dad was most helpful to him. It took the support from the family to make this transition, which included help with rides, transitioning his thoughts, and making compromises that were for his safety. It wasn't easy, but in a few weeks, he was less agitated and eventually became used to being taken places. I wrote an article about driving and when it is time to take the keys away. https://alzheimersdisease.net/living/taking-away-the-keys. I hope my piece lends you some additional ideas on how to approach this challenging situation. I am thinking of you and sending along continued strength and patience. Respectfully, Nancy Alzheimersdisease.net Team Member Thank you so much Nancy, I very much appreciate the tips and the well-wishes. We'll keep plugging along, and I will read your article. Thank you again for the support!
My husband drove an oil tanker for about 35 years and still feels the need to go to work to pick up another load of oil each day. We have his keys but he goes to his truck to go to work each day around 3-4 o’clock. He uses the house key trying to get into the truck. He has picked at it so much that the lock can’t be used on the drivers door. He stood there one day for nearly an hour before coming back in the house. He finally gives up and finds something else to do. He seems to have adjusted to someone else driving for him.
I understand entirely what you are sharing. It is hard to observe their longing to drive. If my father found any spare key, he went straight to the cars in the garage and driveway, but like your husband, they didn't fit the lock. As hard as it was to take away his car keys, it was for his safety and those of others. I had to remind myself of this as we navigated the journey of his frustration and disappointment. Like your husband, Dad became accustomed to me and my sisters driving him places that he enjoyed, especially visiting Home Depot and the tool section—all my best. Nancy Alzheimersdisease.net Team Member
