New to caretaking
Hello. Back in July 2023 my father passed away. I helped him and my mom for at least six years with his health. He was unhealthy since 1996 but I stepped up when my mom started having signs of mild dementia. When my father passed away, I had taken my mom in to live with me and my boyfriend and my stepdaughters. My father and I had discussed this with my boyfriend before he passed and it was agreed-upon. I love my mother so much. Like many of us. I had resigned from my job because I realized I could not leave my boyfriend in charge of my mom during the day. She is self-sufficient for the most part, but she needs help with electronics starting the shower And things to that nature. She no longer cooks since my father passed away. She was an amazing cook. We baked last Christmas and I did most of it. I reached out on another forum and I got eaten alive because they said I was the one that signed up for this. Yes, I signed up for this and I do not regret it. I wanted to vent and say that some days are hard for me because my life has changed completely. Some of the people on the board said I should put my mother in a home. There is no way I’m at that point. I was just looking for support and someone to vent to. I hope I can find that on this page. I am 51 years old , and I cannot turn to any family or friends because they are too close to the situation. I had a therapist, but not speaking to her at the present time because my insurance is ridiculously high. I hope someone can get back to me and I am looking forward to chatting.
Hello Jojo, we are glad you found us and our part of our community. Our community is always here, so share your story and vent. There is no judgment here, but there is caring, understanding, and offering suggestions, tips, and support to others. I am sorry for the loss of your father. May he rest in peace. How loving of you to take on the responsibility of caring for your mother and your own family in such a noble and kind way. I admire your strength in continuing to move forward. Do you like to take Mom into the kitchen when you have time? Perhaps make one of her favorite recipes. As a caregiver to my father, who had Alzheimer's and has passed, we spent a lot of time in the kitchen preparing recipes and taking walks. I want to share an article I wrote that was recently published on our site. It is about activities to consider engaging in with a loved one. https://alzheimersdisease.net/living/engaging-activities. Thank you for being here, and please keep in touch. Warmly, Nancy Alzheimersdisease.net Team Member 💜🕊️ thank you so much Nancy for reaching out. We haven’t done much cooking. We did some baking and soups last year. Now that it’s colder in the north east I do plan on doing more in the kitchen with her. We still have not made her famous meatballs, so that’s a goal of mine, how do you guys get through being an empath? what happens to me is sometimes I look at my mom and I am just sad because she doesn’t have my dad anymore. My heart and I tried to be strong and put it in its place because I still have her and things are OK. Thank you for the compliments. I promised my dad she would not be alone and I would take her years ago if he was to pass first. I have no regrets. Just some days are hard. I am so glad you are here with us. The meatball recipe sounds yummy! And the upcoming baking and soups—yum! I understand your story and empathize with you and your feelings; some days are harder than others with caregiving, but if it feels right, you should let your feelings be felt. It is always okay to let them in and experience them, and for me, this helped with navigating the care I provided to my father and my self-care. Whether it was a happier, sad, or challenging day, I embraced it and kept putting one foot in front of the other. I located a support group and scheduled dates with friends to talk and enjoy a different pace and change of scenery. I left each session revived and ready to tackle what was coming my way. I admire the immense love and care you have for your mother. You are a special person and a devoted daughter. We are always here. Respectfully, Nancy Alzheimersdisease.net Team Member 💜🕊️
Thank you so much! That post alone helps me. I just need an outlet. ❤️
Hi Jojo, You have found an outlet here, and we are so glad you are part of our community. I came across an article on our site and thought of you when I read it: https://alzheimersdisease.net/living/caregiver-resources. We are always here to listen to you and support you. Be good to you: blessings and peace, Nancy Alzheimersdisease.net Team Member. 
, I'm so sorry you had that experience. We're glad that you found us. Even when we assume a responsibility that no one else is willing to shoulder, we get weary. And that is normal and natural. And we're here on those days when you need an outlet, and when you want to share a recipe 😀 - Warm (((hugs))), Donna (Team Member)
