Trapped
My sister and I are the last survivors of our rather (large) family. We are both in our 60s, for the past 5 years my life has been all about hers. Her mental decline started slowly but is accelerated this past year. She can't remember what I said an hour ago, and events that happened 20 yrs ago seem like recent to her.
She's living independently & her Doctors either don't notice this decline, or she's not sharing her medical information. I do not have authority to speak to medical staff, her son has that right and he is far away, both geographically and compassionately.
I don't know what to do. I have financially collapsed trying to help support her since she cannot manage her own finances and won't seek help from her son, or her bank etc. I'm not positive she even has Alzheimer's, but her reality is so far from the norm, and this is intermittent. Good days to really off, mentally.
How can I find out what's happening with her mental decline? She gets angry if I even bring up the subject yet she relies on me to help her with everyday living. I feel trapped & exhausted.
Hi, Sconni. Welcome to our community, and thank you for sharing. I understand and empathize with your feelings. I am sorry that things are challenging for you and your sister. If you haven't already, have you tried contacting your sister's son to explain your observations and concerns? Talking with a loved one about another's observations and concerns is complex.
Perhaps you could suggest to your sister how you would like to make an appointment for her to see her doctor for a routine visit and that you would like to visit with her. Perhaps her son cansupport you with this visit and reach out to her doctor with more detailed information on her health and changes in memory.
I have located a few articles on our site along with the Alzheimer's Association 24 helpline number, which is also very resourceful with what you are experiencing and explaining. 24/7 Helpline 800.272.3900
https://alzheimersdisease.net/healthcare-team-specialists
https://alzheimersdisease.net/research-studies/diagnosis-blood-test
https://alzheimersdisease.net/answers/resources
I am thinking of you and am sending a comforting hug your way. Our community is always here, so join us anytime. Respectfully, Nancy Alzheimersdisease.net Team Member
Hi
, If she is not getting the help or consideration she needs, there are avenues to help. You can petition the court to have her POA changed so that either you or a court-appointed guardian can look after her affairs. alz.org may be able to help explain the process, or refer you to an agency who can help with the petition.
I hope that will be of some help. I understand your connection to her, and your desire to look out for her. Please don't forget to take care of yourself. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
