6 Caregiver Tips for Calming Alzheimer’s Agitation

Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's can be a challenging job. With time, most caregivers learn ways to help calm and comfort their loved ones. To find out which strategies work most reliably, we reached out on the AlzheimersDisease.net Facebook page and asked: "What are some tips for calming someone who is agitated?"

Nearly 150 people shared their best advice. Here are a few ideas to help you de-escalate difficult situations and reduce anxiety.

1. Create a soothing ambiance

The community's top response was music.

Many people said their go-to strategy is to play music that their loved one enjoys to help calm them.

You can also achieve a peaceful ambiance by turning off bright lights and removing jarring stimuli. This might mean turning off the TV or asking others in the room to speak more quietly.

"Soft music and soft lights."

"I start by turning down background noise, whether that is the TV, radio, or even people in the room."

2. Redirect with an activity

Another popular technique is to redirect your loved one's attention to an activity they enjoy.

The list of activities mentioned included going for a walk or car ride, spending time with a pet, coloring, eating ice cream, or looking at photos.

All of these activities can help shift your loved one's energy from agitated to soothed.

"Redirect with something they enjoy: reading, looking at family photos, or eating a favorite food."

"Petting our cat and laying next to the dog are calming."

3. Use a calm communication style

Because it is easy to raise your voice without realizing it, several people shared that they pay extra attention to how they communicate. Focusing on your tone is a key part of calming someone who is agitated.

Pause to make sure you are using a soft voice. Slow down your words; this makes them easier to understand and has a soothing effect on the listener. Additionally, do not argue with or correct your loved one, as this can take the conversation down an unhelpful path.

"Remain as calm as possible yourself. Be as agreeable as possible."

"Speak slowly and softly."

"Don't argue with or try to correct a person with Alzheimer's."

4. Listen and validate feelings

A few people shared that they try first to calm their loved ones or redirect their focus. If the person remains agitated, the caregiver should simply be ready to listen.

Sometimes a person with Alzheimer's may just need to vent verbally. It helps if the caregiver can be present and loving without being judgmental. Whenever possible, offer kindness and reassurance to help reduce anxiety.

"Listen and let them be heard. Sometimes it is a 'feeling' conversation, not a 'fact' conversation."

"Whatever they are upset about—just agree, validate, and reassure."

"Reassuring them that they are loved!"

5. Take care of yourself, too

This is an important tip that often lacks the focus it deserves. It is hard to show up in a loving, patient, and kind way if you do not devote time and energy to your own state of mind.

Several people suggested reminding yourself not to take things personally when your loved one says hurtful things. It can also be upsetting when your hard work does not seem to succeed.

In those cases, you may need to comfort yourself so that you can refill your own cup.

"I have to tell myself it is not personal. I get very emotional and remind myself it is not him. It is the disease talking."

"You cannot let yourself be blown about by their winds of change."

6. Stay flexible

Finally, it helps to remain flexible. Every day brings a different mood, which may call for a different solution. There may also be days when none of the usual fixes work, and that is okay.

If you feel overwhelmed, you may need a time-out to breathe and shift gears. Remember that this is a learning process; there is no single perfect way to de-escalate every situation.

"Sometimes the tips don't work. 'Sometimes' is the keyword! I just remember it is not their fault, and what works one time... may not work the next."

What are your tips for calming someone who is agitated?

We want to thank everyone who shared. We appreciate seeing such a diversity of thoughtful and practical tips. Do you have any strategies you would add to this list?