caret icon Back to all discussions

Am I guilty that my grandad died?

I got tired from feeling guilty but however I need a discussion. My grandad died recently at the age of 85. We started caregiving in January, before he had another carrgiver. He had been living alone for 2 years his exwife look after him. She said he had stopped eating properly since automn. He looked fine and we visited him every other day. He said he didnt need visiting every day, we washed him and did housework. As for the pills, he got phycosis due to them so ambulance suggested deprisctibing.We fed him and left food. We didnt let him out, as we were scared hd would get lost. So we fed him and left food. He was walking and he didnt want to go to elderly house. He was eating but close to march he stsrted eating a lot less. He didnt eat the food we left, with us only a little. In april he died he stopped eating comletely. I want to discuss my guilt. We started visiting everyday but he stopped eating completely. In march he spit out food as well.

  1. Hi , guilt is not uncommon in those left behind when a LOWD passes. You did the best you could, and tried to respect his wishes. Weight loss and eating problems are common in people with dementia. Be gentle with yourself. I'm glad you found us. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)

  2. You are not to blame for your grandads passing
    From the sound of it, he was already fading and you were doing what you could with what you had. The refusal of food is often a symptom of someone dying and it is quite beyond the relatives to do anything about it.

    The extent to which you feel this is showing of your love of him.

Please read our rules before posting.