Newly Diagnosed...and Scared

It's been a little over a year since I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's by virtue of a PET scan, and I have been running scared ever since. I have deep experience with dementia: my father died of alcoholism-induced dementia; one brother from AIDS induced dementia, one brother had his skull shattered and brain damaged in his early teens by a batted baseball, and my mother died at 99 from Alzheimer's. I don't know what will become of me, but for the moment I am taking solace and comfort from the life I have lived up until now. My wife of 52 years and I raised 2 successful children in middle class suburban comfort, and we have 4 wonderful grandchildren, all of whom think we are swell. At age 75 I could be angry about the years that will be denied to me, but somehow that does not seem right. I am grateful for the good years I have been given and hope they will strengthen me for the trying times that lie ahead. Since we all have to die, my hope is to die well, causing as little pain as possible for those I leave behind. For now, I am content to live as I have been, and I confess to a certain amount of joy in raising both middle fingers in salute to this cruel and bleak disease.