Redirecting
Before we found out my stepdad diagnosed with Alzheimer’s my mom would argue and fuss and get hateful and tell him to shut up and tell him that didn’t happen and that’s not true and of course he would smart back and fly off. Now I’m caregiver for both and she’s learning. Me and my stepdad have a wonderful relationship we have a connection because I listen and laugh and agree acknowledge him respect him don’t get angry. Now mom is learning more and being more understanding but even when she trying to do those things now he will still get mad and argue and think she being a smartellic and pop something back. Is there some other things she can do extra to show more love and understanding. I tell her things and she’s trying. Can you give me more examples to show love I have tried so many. I told her hope that’s not the last thing he remembers of you I’ll take any tips
Hi
again, thanks for sharing that great picture! I am glad to hear your mom is trying, I think it takes time to find the right balance. I am sending over a couple more articles that I hope can help: https://alzheimersdisease.net/living/best-communication-approach and https://alzheimersdisease.net/living/communication-strategies-for-family-caregivers. Please keep us posted. Jill (Team Member) Hi
It sounds like your mom really loves him and is trying, and that means a lot. ❤️ Alzheimer's can make it hard for someone to understand even the kindest intentions.
I work with a memory care community, and one thing we often encourage is focusing on how he feels instead of whether he's right or wrong. A calm voice, holding his hand, giving reassurance, or simply sitting with him can sometimes help more than trying to explain.
You're doing an amazing job supporting both of them. Wishing your family strength, and if you ever need more caregiving tips or resources, I'd be happy to share.Your mom sounds like she is really making an effort and that is a very big thing in Alzheimer's. You need to play to the feeling and not the fact, so do not point out his mistakes. Soften your tone, remind him that everything will be fine, touch him, Reminisce with him and listen to him with out questioning him. Even saying “I love you “ and “ you matter to me” is very healing.
